All these questions swirling in my head, looking at my life and being convinced it is all not going my way, not even a bit. Tired of getting up in the morning and by nights end glad to see the day ending. I have felt as if my life was wrong, in limbo, as if I stood just a second off of what reality should be. Caught in a Dr. Who scene or time warp but definitely disconnected from me. Re-connecting has been tricky. Slowly I am answering these questions because the answers are not outside of me, no one can give them to me, but within. Nothing has done this to me, only I have done this to me, which was the first answer. When I discovered all my thinking about my life is wrong than I can switch to all that I can think is right. Things I viewed not working are being illuminated with solutions.
It is horrible to be broken into pieces. The one thing I know, if you stick with it you will discover the answer within you and life will change. All the problems in the world are outside and you can allow them in or not. You can create your world the way you feel, emotionally and logically, your way. That is it. No big message or purpose to discover, think how light you feel now.
Realizing the more I thought my life, closer to the point, me was broken, the greater the strain and guilt I felt because inadvertently I created this life. Just as any habit is hard to break free from this type of thinking may be even more difficult to learn. Implementing daily I find is the only way to correct what has become a lifetime bad habit.
The turning point was a dream. I talked with my wonderful now passed over Mom and she was standing in a field of wildflowers, the scent in the air was her Windsong perfume and there beside her were the boys, two dogs as they had so many times before, waiting for me to greet them. An intense feeling came over me of warmth and love, and in my head I could hear everything being said, like a computer being downloaded with info. Her eyes were a brilliant blue and her hair was wavy and blew in the breeze. I did not want to leave. There was a pop of light and I was back here and Tucker (my dog) snoring gently on the floor. It took several days to sort everything out.
She, my dogs, all those who have lived before me are here and if I would just stop getting in the way I can feel them around me. Since I have worked on grounding and connecting to the energy flows, angels and spirit guides, my energy is up and my creativity is sky rocketing. The biggest problem now is there is not enough of it, time.
Messages from spirit are important and we seem to make little of these signs saying it is in our heads or imagination. The dream was real, making the message important and given for a reason. Listen feel and believe what you feel in your heart because all is heard on the other side, which is one step over.
Something to ponder from my favorite beings Abraham Hicks.
You are magnificent beings, in the perfect place at the perfect time, unfolding perfectly, never getting it done, and never getting it wrong. Be more playful about all of it. “Today, no matter where I’m going, no matter what I am doing, and no matter who I’m doing it with — it is my dominant intent to look for that which I’m wanting to see. I’m wanting to find thoughts and words and actions that feel good while I’m finding them. For in doing so, I am, in the moment, practicing the art of allowing all that I’ve been telling the Universe I’m wanting, for all of the days of my existence