The past two weeks have been full of joy and pain. It started with the sale of two fairy houses. It is so gratifying to sell my things online. The one drawback is the face to face interaction which is always fun. Instead it is opening your email and seeing an order from this imaginary person in this imaginary place. I get a rush of excitement every time. I never care about the amount of the order, for me it is the thrill of acceptance. My work matters to someone out there.
In the blink of an eye my world changes, good or bad, and at that moment I realized again how little control we have over this reality. The perception our minds create for us is just an illusion. In one second I worried about paying bills and in the next, the needed money. Why do we spend so much of our time worrying about how we are going to influence an outcome? More than half of our precious time here spent worrying. It seems as I grew older my worry ego self grew in size. I finally decided I would start to peel away this pesky part my life and expose my true self. It has been a journey of self discovery on many levels and as the lotus flower reaches for the light I too am reaching for truth of self. It is an inner light I seek and I have discovered life is full and beautiful and joyful. It is all perception of our reality.
Let me go back a bit in time to before the sale. I had given up on my life and on me. I am not talking about depression or ending my life. I had lost my connection with my soul and my connection to my Source. When we disconnect to Spirit, the soul loss felt is very heavy and I can only say it is like walking through mud up to your hips and the shore line is always just out of reach. There are many people walking in mud these days. I believe that Spirit is always there and all we need to do is ask for Spirit’ help. Spirit showed me I needed to take some time away from my mind and connect to nature. I chose to work outside and fixed a small area up where I could be silent and Tuck could wonder about with no constraints. I was not aware I was creating a sacred place. An important place where I could recharge and be with nature and Spirit. As I finished my work outside my mind started picking away again saying I should be creating for the shop. I am wasting time, get going, you are a procrastinating the inevitable doom is coming. Of course I listened. I picked up some wood and headed for the wood shop to make some fairy houses. On my way I detoured to check my email and there it was my fairy house order. Totally gleeful I packed up the order and off it went. Now my mind was shouting you better get going. Again I listened. Spirit had shown me what I needed to do and I had half listened. Yes I made a beautiful spot where I could recharge but I did not reconnect to Spirit, not yet.
I headed blissfully to the wood shop happily thinking I had everything under control. Maybe I did not have to do any of the work I thought I had to do and my mind, my ego rationalized it all with the order of the fairy houses. As I worked on the band saw cutting some cedar for the sides of new fairy houses my hand slipped. My pinky finger went into the running blade of the band saw. I could feel the blade and instantly knew it was bad. It was. I debated going for stitches and decided I could butterfly it closed and covered it up with a bandage. It is now 10 days later and my finger is almost heeled.
I could not do any work in the shop so I had to spend time doing other things. I found my sacred place Spirit had whispered in my ear to make was more now than a place to sit and connect. It had become a place to heal. It was not only my finger I needed to heal but also my soul connection to self and Source. Was Spirit showing me this spot because I was fated to cut my finger with a band saw or was Spirit telling me to rest and connect only. Because I did not listen is that why the accident occurred? I am not certain of the answer but I do know the outcome. After sitting in my sacred space, the same space Spirit nudged me to create, and allowing my heart center to open. My finger has drastically healed. This past week I have shipped the most amount of orders to date in a week from my etsy shop, Between The Weeds. Is it fate destiny or just coincidences? I believe it is Spirit and I am grateful for the lesson.